Friday, October 2, 2009

Confessions of a recovering perfectionist.


Seems like the more you get to know someone, the more you realize what shapes them.  Struggles of the past leave their mark on the present.  Even when the victory has come, the victor's character is altered by the contest.  All that to say, that I am a recovering perfectionist.  Not that I ever attained it....  That's the endless treadmill of the condition.  But I have begun to recognize the marks still shape who I am and what I do.  For example, I tend to put things off if I don't have a complete picture of how I will complete them.  It may look from the outside like I'm lazy, but in reality, I can get exhausted trying to mentally conquor the task.  (Even as I write this, I'm tempted to delete it all and start over!) 

The further I get on the journey of this life, the easier it is to let myself off the hook.  I'm learning to jump in with both feet and figure out how deep it is later...  I'm learning the lessons of Grace. 

This video clip of Pete Briscoe is great.  I can totally relate to what he's saying. 

I Am Second

Today's attempt at being an un-perfectionist comes in the form of school schedules.  Technically, we should have another two weeks before a fall break.  But, with all the kids' friends off this coming week, I have decided to take a week off as well.  It takes everything within me to convince my self that it's okay.  After all, who's in charge here?  I want to live everyday giving the same amount of grace that I depend on myself.  The school work will be done.  We'll get our required 36 weeks in before summer.  It'll be one more way to keep the first things first - because I am second.

2 comments:

  1. I can really relate to this, Karelin. I don't get nearly the amount of stuff done that I'd like to, because I put off starting - for wanting for it to be perfect. Augh! Talk about self-defeating! I wonder who's behind that???

    Pete Briscoe is the pastor of a local mega-church. I love his sermons, which you can get on iTunes. Search Bent Tree Bible Fellowship. Goooood stuff.

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  2. :-)Good stuff. Keep writing!

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