Enough is enough... Really it is!

I've just spent the last couple of weeks pouring over curriculum catalogs and websites...  You'd think that after 14 years of homeschooling, I'd have made up my mind what to use.  The problem is, no two kids are alike and new materials are coming out every year.  But the biggest reason that I'm making a change this year is that I'm spending too much time planning each week.  It's not uncommon for me to have to work 3-5 hours on the weekend just to be ready for the next week.  Enough is enough.

As a recovering perfectionist, it always seems to me that there is more that I should be doing for my kids.  Planning their work and preparing just the right lessons had begun to consume me, much to the chagrin of my family.  I've  come to the point where I must admit, it's just not working for me.  I love my old curriculum, but at this season of my life, I can't afford the time it takes.  So the search began.  How to find a curriculum with the educational value I want, without all the hours of preparation?  I had to find the balance of "enough".  I've settled on something that will give my kids enough history, math, language arts, science and supplemental learning without ruining our life.

I don't know about you, but when I think about the word "enough," it has a negative connotation.  Maybe because it is often preceded by the phrase, "not good."  Enough always seems to be the amount that is just getting by.  A disappointed second place...enough.

e·nough

/ɪˈnʌf/ Show Spelled[ih-nuhf]

–adjective

1.

adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or to satisfy desire: enough water; noise enough to wake the dead.

–pronoun

2.

an adequate quantity or number; sufficiency.

–adverb

3.

in a quantity or degree that answers a purpose or satisfies a need or desire; sufficiently.

—Synonyms 1. ample. 3. adequately, amply, reasonably.

According to these Dictionary.com entries, I should be satisfied with enough.  It says that enough is "adequate; sufficient for the purpose..."  Perhaps I've fallen victim to the mindset that I must have more than enough, an over-abundance of something to feel secure.  Could the consumer mentality have crept in even here?  Maybe so.  If I have enough ingredients to make cookies, don't I end up with perfectly good cookies?  More than enough does me no good.  It may even be wasted.

In thinking about "enough," I've discovered that my subconscious aversion to it has tainted a well-known Christian song, Your Grace Is Enough, by Chris Tomlin.  We sing it quite often but I can't help feeling that old skin-of-my-teeth enough.  That's not the meaning of the song.  God's grace is enough; adequate; sufficient for the purpose..  The need of my sin was adequately met by the blood of Jesus. 

So in my journey to a more simple life, I must embrace enough.  I have enough possessions.  I have enough food to eat.  I have enough time to do what needs to be done.  And by the time my children leave my home school, they will have learned enough.  But most importantly, God's grace is enough to cover all my sin, all my failings, and all my need.  Jesus is enough.

Summer is Here! Housekeeping on the blog.

I love summer!  The change of pace is always something I look forward to as much as my kids.  My project list gets long and with it expectations of how the days will go.  As you probably know, that is a recipe for disaster.  You'd think I'd learn by now.  But every year about this time, I have to look at my lists and prioritize them.  What do I REALLY want and need to get done. 

One of the things on my list is to better organize this blog.  I hope to be working on some format changes.  I also want to do a better job at planning my posts.  Case in point, I really should have titled my Offenses of Jesus posts better.  I wrote one week about the Faith of a Gentile woman and then the next about the Women in Jesus' Life, Part 1.  Well, technically the Gentile woman should have been Part 1 and the story of Simon and the "notorious sinner" woman should have been Part 2.  I 'm almost finished with  "Part 3" on Mary and Martha at Lazarus' tomb.  I'm not sure how to fix that...   I'll probably just have to leave it as is - lessons learned.  Thanks for your grace!

I have a new goal for the fall.  I'm planning on running in the Windward Half Marathon in September.  Lord willing, I'd like to blog about my journey to that race.  The Lord speaks to me so much while I run.  I'd hate to keep it all to myself.

But with all my planning, there are some things happening that I just couldn't have foreseen.  For instance, I thought I'd have my oldest home for the summer.  But she has decided to stay in California and work before school starts again for her in the fall.  I also didn't expect to be applying for substitute teaching positions at two Christian schools but the Lord seems to be giving me an alternative to bookkeeping for work.  Thirdly, I didn't expect that we'd be selling our beloved sailboat.  But God is good and I am loved.  Those facts keep me centered and peace is within reach. 

My verse for this summer:

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
  Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)

The seasons may change, but our God never changes.  HE is good.  He IS good.  He is GOOD.

Multitude Monday

See the heart in the sky?

It was a busy, but fun weekend.  Mother's Day was celebrated with the grandmothers and family over at our house.  Home-made pizza, bottled root beer and fresh strawberries with chocolate, brown sugar and sour cream for dipping.  Yum.

Still waiting on interview results....got one "no" for sure, but am waiting on two more answers.  What a process.  On the way to my interview last Thursday, I really started doubting myself.  It all started when in dug to the bottom of my purse for lipstick.  I never wear it, but it's in my purse.  I guess it's a mom thing.  Anyway, when I looked into the rear-view mirror to put it on (my mother never needed a mirror) all I could see were the flaws in my face.  The self-talk went something like this, "Look at those wrinkles, you're way too old for this...",  "Your teeth are so yellow.  You shouldn't even open your mouth..."  It was relentless.  The nasty voice in my head was going full force.  Thankfully, I had a few minutes to spare so I pulled over and took a few deep breaths.  Then I prayed.  I don't remember exactly what I said, but I know that the nasty voice had to go.  My Redeemer was with me.  He who made me, cares for me and loves me gave me the courage I needed.  I walked into that interview with my head held high - smiling.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

Psalm 73: 25-26

 

This then is how we know that we belong to the truth,

and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence

whenever our hearts condemn us.

For God is greater than our hearts,

and he knows everything.

1 John 3:19-20

 

I am so grateful that I have a place to run when my heart condemns me.  God is so much greater than my heart.  It is so easily swayed and deceived.  He knows how to set my heart at rest.  All have have to do is run to His presence.

 

1000 Gifts:  (234 - 251)

 

prayer in the night for a sleepless son

hearts reconciled

new job prospects

encouraging words from a friend

divine appointments

going to the theater with the kids

peeling potatoes for mission meal

classic Audrey Hepburn movie for the family

injured bird recovering in a box

enough for today

great interview

crazy dream that makes you laugh when you wake

mother's and daughter's lunch

multi-generation hula

hand-made card and gifts from loving kids

loving memory of a mom in heaven

two more loving on-earth mothers


Join the Gratitude Community here:

Photo by Rachael James

Adventures in Attitudes

I was in our church office today making copies for our worship practice and happened to look up at the bookshelf.  This title jumped off the book it was written on....Adventures in Attitudes.  I had to laugh.  That pretty much sums up the last few days I've had. 

I could make a lot of excuses like,

"I have three teenage girls at home..."

or "homeschooling is really hard..."

or "I just didn't get enough sleep last night." 

They are all true, but excuses don't change a thing.  The good news is that my attitude will eventually change.  Like my emotions, I try not to put too much stock into them.  They just aren't reliable.  Learning to ride out the ups and downs is a process.  Hopefully, I'm getting better at it.   To see attitudes as an adventure...that could be just the perspective I need.

Confessions of a recovering perfectionist.

Seems like the more you get to know someone, the more you realize what shapes them.  Struggles of the past leave their mark on the present.  Even when the victory has come, the victor's character is altered by the contest.  All that to say, that I am a recovering perfectionist.  Not that I ever attained it....  That's the endless treadmill of the condition.  But I have begun to recognize the marks still shape who I am and what I do.  For example, I tend to put things off if I don't have a complete picture of how I will complete them.  It may look from the outside like I'm lazy, but in reality, I can get exhausted trying to mentally conquor the task.  (Even as I write this, I'm tempted to delete it all and start over!) 

The further I get on the journey of this life, the easier it is to let myself off the hook.  I'm learning to jump in with both feet and figure out how deep it is later...  I'm learning the lessons of Grace. 

This video clip of Pete Briscoe is great.  I can totally relate to what he's saying. 

I Am Second

Today's attempt at being an un-perfectionist comes in the form of school schedules.  Technically, we should have another two weeks before a fall break.  But, with all the kids' friends off this coming week, I have decided to take a week off as well.  It takes everything within me to convince my self that it's okay.  After all, who's in charge here?  I want to live everyday giving the same amount of grace that I depend on myself.  The school work will be done.  We'll get our required 36 weeks in before summer.  It'll be one more way to keep the first things first - because I am second.