Looking Back, Looking Forward

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you knew you were at a crossroads?  A moment that you knew things in your life would never be the same?  I remember a time when I was 18.  My parents had decided to move away from Hawaii and go to the mainland.  I was a sophomore in college in San Diego.  They brought me home during the Christmas break to pack my room and say goodbye to my Hawaii friends.   

I remember sitting on my bed in the midst of the boxes.  I felt devastated. Everything I knew about home was about to change.  Always one to have music playing, the song that filled the room at that moment was, "Because He Lives."  It was like the light broke through my darkness and I felt a peace like never before.  A peace I desperately needed.  Whatever lay ahead, I knew that Jesus was with me.  I could face all the uncertain days with Him at my side.

Fast-forward 28 years down the line.  Here I am.  When I look back at all that's happened during those years I am amazed.  There have been plenty of joys and sorrows.   I graduated from college, married my sweetheart, and have had four beautiful children.  But I've lost both my parents, and all my grandparents.  I've been up and down financially.  I've felt many victories and defeats.  But through it all, Jesus has been my rock.  His resurrection power and grace in my life have given me the strength to face every day.

At our recent women's retreat, we sang that song.  It struck me that the truth of that song still rings true in my life.  Because Jesus lives, I can face tomorrow.   Because He lives, all fear is gone.  Life IS worth the living.  Sitting on my bed those many years ago, I never could have imagined what would come my way.  But faith in a faithful God makes it possible to face everyday without fear.   Oh, fear does come, but I have somewhere to take that fear - to the feet of Jesus. 

  Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp.
  Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

  O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
now and always.

Psalm 131 (NLT)

I am grateful for the time a slower schedule brings. Time to look back and what Jesus has done in my life, and time to look forward knowing He holds the future.