A change in perspective

World English Dictionary

perspective (pəˈspɛktɪv)
— n
1.	a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance
2.	the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity: try to get some perspective on your troubles There's a saying, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it."  I can relate to this.  Fifteen years ago, our family moved from Kailua to the neighboring town of Kaneohe.  It was a good move.  Our girls where five, three, and one year old.  I was just entering the world of homeschooling and working from home as a bookkeeper.  God blessed us in that home with the birth of our son.  Our family of six got busy living life.  All through that time, God was growing us and changing us.  We learned to live not only for ourselves, but to see those around us and reach out to them.  We learned that generosity was the path to true freedom.  Day by day, over the course of those 15 years, Mark and I learned to become a team.  We learned to stop picking at each other's weaknesses and instead, rely on and encourage each other's strengths.  The kids continued to grow, as they all do.  Two daughters graduated from our little home school.  The first-born even ventured off to the mainland.  Life was good.  And God had a plan.  He began to plant in us a vision for more.  A desire to be part of a community of Jesus followers who lived out what they believed.  God also put in our hearts a desire to return to Kailua.  This past summer has seen the seed of that dream start to germinate.  In a matter of weeks, God opened the door for us to return to Kailua - to the very house we lived in before.  But this house was not as we left it.  Owned by our church, we joined in a renovation project that turned the hot, stuffy box of a house, to the most beautiful, functional house I've ever lived in... and I'd lived there before!  (God has a sense of humor!)  Fifteen years is a lot of time to accumulate stuff.  We had spent those years acquiring more than we needed.  The kids had grown up and out of so many things.  I had years of homeschool books and gadgets that we didn't need or use anymore.  I had remnants of hold hobbies that had gone by the way side.  The Kailua house, as lovely as it had become, still had no storage.  That meant a drastic purging of our belongings.  And purge we did!  I believe we left that house with about half of what we previously owned.  So freeing, but also gut wrenching. (We practically stocked our church rummage sale single handedly.)  But even in this, the Lord had been preparing me.  I had been reading minimalist and simplicity blogs for about a year.  I knew I could do the purging, and was very grateful for the push to do it now. So literally, in about 8 weeks time, we went from blissfully living in Kaneohe, to renovating a house, purging half our possessions and moved back into the house where our three girls were born.  My head is still spinning! But this house is special.  We have a studio space that can accommodate young adults.  We currently have two sweet young ladies living there that bless our lives so much.  We are becoming family.  Not only is this house special, our whole block is special.  Like I mentioned, this house is on our church property.  We join a community with our pastor and family as well as another house that has two church members living on the property.  Our dream of living in community is happening before our eyes.  So what is life like now?  There are always people coming and going.  We have a steady stream of extended family around.  I love it.  There is always someone to join us at our table, someone to sit and chat with, and someone to throw a football or play xbox with our son.  Would I have been able to live this way 15 years ago?  No way.  I would have resisted the intrusions.  I would have resented the interruptions.  God grew us into this life.  I am so grateful.  Mark and I are feeling useful and happy.  God is good. So I continue to enjoy the view that God has given.  God has changed our perspective on so many things.  He is renewing our minds.  He is faithful to bring us to the point of surrender, then fill us with good things.  Our cup overflows. Psalm 16 A psalm of David. 1 Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge. 2 I said to the Lord, “You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you.” 3 The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them! 4 Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods. I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood or even speak the names of their gods. 5 Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. 6 The land you have given me is a pleasant land. What a wonderful inheritance! 7 I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. 8 I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. 9 No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.     My body rests in safety. 10 For you will not leave my soul among the dead     or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. 11 You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

A View from the Fast Lane

It has been a long time since my last post.  Life has taken some unexpected turns in the past few months. 

·         My oldest is home for a short time, working and earning money to leave again.  This time, she’s not only leaving for school, but “really” moving out. 

·         I’ve started substitute teaching here and there. 

·         My 15 year old niece has come to live with us for the school year. That means that I have four teenage girls and one pre-teen boy in the house.

·         My homeschooling is in full swing with a 6^th grader, two sophomores, and one senior.

·         Mark and I have aging parents with various health issues that need constant attention. 

Needless to say, we have our hands full. 

So that is the view that I am currently enjoying.  Enjoying?  Yes… most of the time.  Stress is unavoidable.  But God is giving us grace beyond what we could imagine.  Mark and I celebrated 25 years of marriage in October.  What an amazing gift.  Family times are precious as we try to make playing together a priority.

During this time away from my blog, I’ve been really wondering what direction it will take in this season of my life.  I’ve always tried to make it a reflection of what I’m learning or what is occupying my thoughts the most.  Right now, that consists of dealing with a busy schedule, raising teens and the extravagant love of God.  Sounds like I could stay busy for quite a while with those topics.  

I’m not an expert on blogs or blogging, but the mom blogs that I read are typically written by moms with young children.  I haven’t found many that deal with a house full of teens.  (Please send me your favorite links!)  That’s where I am, so that’s what I’ll be writing about for the near future.

I’ve read a lot of parenting books in my career as a mom – just ask my husband.  I love my kids so much.  I want to be the best mom I can for them.  I know that I’ve made many mistakes.  As my kids get older, the seeds that were sown in their youth are bearing fruit – for better or for worse.  Now, as we near the time when they will fly out of my nest, I feel an urgency to make the most of the days, months and years that I have left.  I'm like a kid that realizes that summer vacation is almost over and has a ton of stuff yet to do.  I know that I must be more intentional about parenting before this season of my life is over.

The books that I love on this topic are:  Age of Opportunity, by Paul David Tripp and Loving our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk.  Writing about what I’m learning will help me process the information as well as pass it on. 

The situations in my life that cause stress will not be changing any time soon, so finding balance in my life is key to my survival existence.  I don’t merely want to survive – I want the abundant life that was promised me by my Savior, Jesus.  It's out there, I just need to carve out space to rest and receive it.

I think I'll paraphrase the apostle Paul and say, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether too busy or rested, whether living in peace or in stress."

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13 NLT

Where's the Wonder?

 It's a sign of the times.  I think my kids have missed the "wonder years."  I remember being a kid and having profound times of wonder.  I'd wonder things like, "How do they get that cream inside the Twinkies?" "When astronauts sneeze, to they shoot backwards?" "Who invented the first pogo stick, and more importantly, why?"  These kinds of questions would keep me busy for hours.  I'd have a thought like this and just have to say, "Hmmmm, I wonder...." 

Now, when my kids have an "I wonder..." moment, they immediately go to the internet and find out.  Their sense of wonder truly lasts only a moment.  At 3G speed, they instantly have more information at their fingertips than they really wanted or needed to know.  Don't get me wrong.   I love that they want to know and have a way to find out.  That's been one of my homeschooling goals all along - instill a love of learning and the skills to do so.  But...  Where's the wonder? 

The feeling of wonder comes with the realization that the world is a big place.  There are things out there that are yet to be discovered.  Now, so much of the mystery of life has been eliminated.  It may be the kind of change our world went through with the invention of the airplane.  With the faster modes of transportation, we lost the experience of the journey.  (And TSA hasn't helped either...)

This leads me to other "I wonder" questions.  Will this loss of wonder spill over into our spiritual lives?  Will this generation tolerate a God that is larger than our understanding?  Will a God of Wonders hold the attention of the knowledge-at-my-fingertips Church?  I pray that she will be able to embrace the wonder of God and not stumble over His mystery.  After all, if God could be "Googled" in His entirety, what kind of God would He be?

Psalm 17:6-8

  I call on you, O God, for you will answer me;
give ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show the wonder of your great love,
you who save by your right hand 

   those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings

Enough is enough... Really it is!

I've just spent the last couple of weeks pouring over curriculum catalogs and websites...  You'd think that after 14 years of homeschooling, I'd have made up my mind what to use.  The problem is, no two kids are alike and new materials are coming out every year.  But the biggest reason that I'm making a change this year is that I'm spending too much time planning each week.  It's not uncommon for me to have to work 3-5 hours on the weekend just to be ready for the next week.  Enough is enough.

As a recovering perfectionist, it always seems to me that there is more that I should be doing for my kids.  Planning their work and preparing just the right lessons had begun to consume me, much to the chagrin of my family.  I've  come to the point where I must admit, it's just not working for me.  I love my old curriculum, but at this season of my life, I can't afford the time it takes.  So the search began.  How to find a curriculum with the educational value I want, without all the hours of preparation?  I had to find the balance of "enough".  I've settled on something that will give my kids enough history, math, language arts, science and supplemental learning without ruining our life.

I don't know about you, but when I think about the word "enough," it has a negative connotation.  Maybe because it is often preceded by the phrase, "not good."  Enough always seems to be the amount that is just getting by.  A disappointed second place...enough.

e·nough

/ɪˈnʌf/ Show Spelled[ih-nuhf]

–adjective

1.

adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or to satisfy desire: enough water; noise enough to wake the dead.

–pronoun

2.

an adequate quantity or number; sufficiency.

–adverb

3.

in a quantity or degree that answers a purpose or satisfies a need or desire; sufficiently.

—Synonyms 1. ample. 3. adequately, amply, reasonably.

According to these Dictionary.com entries, I should be satisfied with enough.  It says that enough is "adequate; sufficient for the purpose..."  Perhaps I've fallen victim to the mindset that I must have more than enough, an over-abundance of something to feel secure.  Could the consumer mentality have crept in even here?  Maybe so.  If I have enough ingredients to make cookies, don't I end up with perfectly good cookies?  More than enough does me no good.  It may even be wasted.

In thinking about "enough," I've discovered that my subconscious aversion to it has tainted a well-known Christian song, Your Grace Is Enough, by Chris Tomlin.  We sing it quite often but I can't help feeling that old skin-of-my-teeth enough.  That's not the meaning of the song.  God's grace is enough; adequate; sufficient for the purpose..  The need of my sin was adequately met by the blood of Jesus. 

So in my journey to a more simple life, I must embrace enough.  I have enough possessions.  I have enough food to eat.  I have enough time to do what needs to be done.  And by the time my children leave my home school, they will have learned enough.  But most importantly, God's grace is enough to cover all my sin, all my failings, and all my need.  Jesus is enough.

Learning to Enjoy the View of the Valley

Today is one of those days...  a day where I have more questions than answers.  A day where the journey ahead seems a bit too long.  This is a day that I struggle to enjoy the view.

I have a dear friend who is suffering an illness that is taking her away from me.  It's taking her away from everyone - even herself.  It's scary.  I feel helpless.  I want to fix it but can't.

It's days like this that knock me off my feet and make me wish for heaven.  The longer I live, the more I yearn for all of the pain in this life to be over.  Growing up was supposed to fix all the longings in my heart.  Now, there seem to be more longings, not less.  I wanted a world were everyone was loved, where families stayed together, where no one got sick, and only ancient saints were called to heaven.  I wanted heaven on earth.  But we're not there yet, and God in His wisdom is not bound by my fleeting emotions.

Days like this tempt me to hide in my shell.  To play Scarlet O'Hara and "..think about it tomorrow."  To turn off my emotions so I don't feel the pain.  But that's not living.  Being alive is feeling everything - joy as well as pain.  I've spent far too many seasons of my life pushing hard emotions aside.  I've used denial as a means of survival.  I don't want to live like that anymore.

How can I accept the blessings of God and not endure the pain?  How can I ask for the mountain top but refuse the lessons of the valley?  How can I depend on a faithful God, if there is no need for faith?  How can Jesus be my Prince of Peace if there is no chaos?  Ah, but there is pain and loss and chaos.  So will I run to the One who holds all of life in His hands or will I pull the covers over my head and curse the darkness?

Days like these demand that I call on the One who I profess to be my Good Shepherd, the Vine, and Lover of my Soul.  Days like these allow the Holy Spirit to be my Comforter and Friend.  Opening myself up to the pain is the only way that the Healing can come in.  It's worth the risk.  Jesus is Faithful and True.  He is the Way and the Life.

So I will feel the pain of today for I am alive to feel it.  I may not have all the answers, but what I do know is this:  God is good and I am loved.   That's the only way to enjoy the view...

Looking at Jesus with New Eyes

One thing that makes us unique as individuals is the way we see the world around us.  If you ask three people about the same movie, you are likely to get three very different answers.  Did they really see the same move?  Of course, but each one interpreted what they saw based on who they are and what life experiences shaped them up to this point.  Each one has a different "world view."

All of us have a world view.  We may not call it that, but its the way that we personally see the world.  Everything we are flows out of our world view.  It affects how we receive information and it also colors how we give out information.  There are many things that contribute to the formation of our world view such as culture, economic status, family make-up, education, and even how far one's traveled from home.   Knowing a bit about someones world view helps a great deal in understanding what they say and what they do.  It serves as a framework to interpreting the full content of their message and intentions.

So why is that important?  Well, if I don't know a persons world view, I will be inclined to interpret what I hear by my world view.  This can cause a wrong interpretation of the message completely.  For example, let's take the biblical example of "turn the other cheek."  My Christian world view says that this is an exercise in humility and grace, while a non-Christian world view may see this as weakness and foolishness.  This is a basic example that is pretty obvious.  But what about other subtle world view differences. 

Recently, I picked up a book called, Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewishness of Jesus Can Transform Your Faith, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg.  I've only gotten a few chapters read but already I can see new insights into the world view of Jesus.  The place and time, culture and faith of Jesus colored the way He spoke to the people.  New Testament scholars wrote the Scriptures based on their world view as well and assumed that the readers would share that world view. 

One insight that I found personally exciting was the fact that,

"women were encouraged to sit in on the advanced discussions at the synagogue if they were able.  A few even acquired the high-level education required to contribute to rabbinic debates, and their words are still on record.  Some restrictions on women, like separating men and women during worship, actually arose several centuries later."

Mary of Bethany was one of those women.  We always see her at the feet of Jesus.  Now I know that she was a true disciple.  I love that.

The authors go on to say,

"If you were a first-century Jew, you probably would have heard a saying in circulation for at least a hundred years: 'Let your house be a meeting place for the rabbis, and cover yourself in the dust of their feet, and drink in their words thirstily.'"[Mishnah, Pirke Avot (Sayings of the Fathers) 1:4.]

That's exactly what Mary and Martha chose to do.  Just these two bits of Jewish culture give such richness to the women in Jesus' life that I already admire.  I'm looking forward to more understanding in the days to come.

I agree with Paul when he said,

...that they may know the mystery of God, even Christ,  

in whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge hidden.

Colossians 2:2-3 (ASV)



There is so much to learn about the mystery of God.  True disciples are the ones that sit close enough to the rabbi to learn.  The mysteries of Jesus are not hidden so no one will find them. They are hidden so that the diligent and hungry will search and find them!   It's kind of like hiding Easter eggs from your kids.  When they are little, the eggs are practically in plain sight.  But as the kids get older, more creative hiding places are needed.  Not because we don't want the eggs to be found - that would be a sticky disaster.  There is joy is searching and finding.  God's knows us.  It is His delight to reveal things hidden.  And they are all to be found in Jesus!

Let the River Flow

I love when God surprises me.  It happens quite a lot.  There are times when the Lord brings things into my little by little.  He moves so gently that I don't even realize it.  Remember this pacesetter post?  I guess it's time to put my money where my mouth is...

Today, I met with a young woman who wants me to be her mentor.  I was blown away when she asked me.  What a huge responsibility.  My first (unspoken) response was, "Who me?  What do I have to offer?" (That's been my enemies favorite lie.  I will fight it all my life.)  But as I prayed about it, I realized that God has been preparing me for this for many years.  I even found a book on my shelf about women's mentoring ministry that's been there for about 12 years....unused.

With all that's going on in my life, will I really be able to give what's needed to keep up my end of this relationship?  I must trust that this is God's timing.  He will enable me to give what He wants me to give.  He is my resource.  He is my strength.  Any fears I have about being a mentor come when I'm thinking about using my strengths, my knowledge, and my ability.  That wont do this sweet woman any good.  It's in taking what our gracious Lord has given me, and passing it on.  Why learn all those hard lessons?  Not just for my own benefit.  They become blessings when I can share them with others.

“Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! 

Anyone who believes in me may come and drink!

For the Scriptures declare,

‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’”

- Jesus, from John 7:37-39 (NLT)

If the Lord's Spirit is within me, but there's no out-flow, I become a stagnant pool like the Dead Sea.  The life giving water will turn to death, benefiting no one.  It's my hearts desire to let Jesus's living water flow through me and into another.  Not only do I benefit, but so do those around me.  What a better way to build the Kingdom of God.



(Thanks, Cindy!)